Want

End

And it’s killing time.

Well… it’s not killing time. I’m just… killing time. Because i’m slacking at the moment.

This is just how I feel about work right now.

End.

Comment.

Is Wanking Good for You…

… is a search term that ended up with a hit on my blog.

So… if you’re googling the heath benefits of masturbation… welcome.

Answer: medically, I’ve no idea, but done correctly and with the right Heath & Safety forms filled in and countersigned by an immediate manager… I don’t see what harm could come to you.

And apparently, the Japanese masturbate furiously to burn calories, so there’s some useful information there. Must be true. I read it in a book.

No pic with this post… funnily enough.

Anyone care to comment?

The quarter life crisis, music, sex and smoking…

… and how it’s all connected.

Hello gentle reader. You’re asking yourself, what is this quarter life crisis you’re banging on about. Truth be told, I hope it’s not a quarter life crisis, because that would mean we’re all going to hack on until we’re 90… and that’s just no damn fun.

What I mean about that is this. In about six weeks time, I’m going to be 30 years old. I really didn’t think for a second that it would bother me in the slightest. I mean, you’re only as old as the girl you’re feeling, right?

Wrong.

Very wrong!

Rock it out baby…

OK so I said I wouldn’t post for another week, but fuck it, this is my blog, only four people in the world read it… I’m going to do what I like.

Like tell you that the beauty showing above is an Epiphone ES 335.

And I’ve just bought one.

And I’m very fucking happy about that. I’ve wanted an ES-335 (a Gibson 335) ever since I was 16, but the price tag was always pretty… how to put this, er… heavy. To go into a shop today and buy one, it will cost about £1650 for a basic one, before you’ve done some custom jobs on it, like swapping the pickups for the ones you really want, custom paint job… blah…

Of course, the colour to have is cherry red, but I’m not following the crowd on this one. Let them have their red guitars. Mine’s a black one with chrome hardware thanks; and yes, it says Epiphone, and for years, an Epiphone was a poor man’s Gibson, but they’ve really pulled their finger out in the last few years and although it is cheap when compared to a Gibson, it’s far from cheap in real terms. Plays nice, sounds great, build quality is excellent for a axe of this price bracket…

And look at it.

Now… a few custom additions, like chromed metal pot-controls, and this baby is ready to rock out.

So… of course you’re thinking now: he plays guitar as well? That’s right. Artist, musician, sometime-writer, technical geek, photographer, muser… I am the Renaissance.

Are you Unique?

No, that’s not like the leading question… ‘are you special’, because, let’s face it… you come here, so yeah, you’re pretty damn special in my eyes.

No, my question today is basically this. I’ve been looking at my blog stats, and I’m getting lots of so-called unique users having a look at these words. OK, that’s not really true… it’s more than usual… like in the 20s and 30s views per day. Now, I don’t know (because the software that does this thing doesn’t know) if that’s really people, or just internet bots doing internet bot things….

So! Here is today’s task. I will not make another post for one week… really, I know that’s hard for you to fathom, but you went for ages before and you didn’t seem to mind much.

But if you’re a unique user, and I include all the regular faces, say hello in the comments.

Go on… you know you want to. You’ll make an ex-smoker happy? Not much of an incentive, I know, but it’s all I’m offering at the moment. Unless you’re a girl, then… well… we’ll discuss it.

Go!

P.A.W: It’s back… and it’s good!

Yes… you all thought that PAW was dead. Another little whimsy that I thought about and was just letting lie down in a ditch and die, but no! I’ve been keeping an eager eye out for truly exceptional examples for pretentious art wank, and heavens, have I got something special for you.

Found in an oldish copy of the Bristish Journal of Photography, in the Chrome comment column, here’s an extract from an exhibition press release for a show opening soon at a swanky gallery… somewhere in London.

Ready?

So what was cheap, what wasn’t?

I’ve just been flexing my brain muscles - no… not like that you dirty bastards - by watching some BBC Four. It was a program about advertising throughout the 1960s… and I saw something that made me think.

Players / Weights Tipped Cigarettes: The Cigarette for Today! were, in 1966, 3′1 a packet.
For younger readers and those of a foreign persuasion, that’s three shillings and six-pence in old money.

Now… the copy of A Farewell to Arms* that I’m reading at the moment, was printed in 1965, and was on sale at 3′6. So… here’s the question.

Way back in the depths of time, when everyone was in black and white, nearly everyone smoked. It was almost law that you smoked. Doctors would advise you toke on a Capstan Full Strength if you felt a little under pressure at work or in the home. If you got knocked down by a bus, the ambulance driver would light you a fag to calm your nerves. Everyone who was anyone smoked. It must have been cheap.

So by that same ticket, books must have been dirt cheap as well, right? But books… and cigarettes, although not inextricably linked, have both gone up in price. Cigarettes are taxed highly of course… and printing books is an expensive lark, so why were books so damn cheap? Mass market papaerbacks were pretty new in the 60s, and the amount of books published cannot even start to compete with what pumped out today - quality, not quantity, anyone? Another rant for another time perhaps? - but, I’m still amazed at the cost.

You could buy a packet of cigarettes, or a book, for more or less the same price.

That’s strange.

*On my copy, inside the front cover, there’s a little note saying “For copyright reasons, this edition is not for sale in the USA or Canada”. So for any visitors from these parts of the world… you CANNOT look at the picture at the top of this post… oh, you already have. OK, just don’t tell anyone.

PC World Raped My Wallet.

Just a quick one.

But this had to be sent into the world.

45 cm of IDE ribbon (for connecting hard drives, DVD burners etc) in PC World. Today.

£4.99

I mean…

…

…

fucking hell.

That’s like, 300% more expensive than ANYONE else, even other highstreet retailers. Who the fuck are you kidding?

End.

Productivity. We need a talk about productivity.

Yes. It’s Friday. And I have a question for you good people

How the fuck did that happen? I mean, it’s Friday, and it really does seem that I’ve done bugger all, all week. I’ve achived not a lot, other than make a few calls, and not manage to strike anything off the week’s to-do list; which when you’re running your own company, and time is money - renting office space costs money - then how come it’s Friday already and now I’ve got to try and catch up with things and people before everyone buggers off for the long weekend*.

Granted, I’ve had a few personal things to sort out: like the fact that some cocksucker out there is running around with my bank card, because my card stopped working… because the new one I ordered has been activated - although not by me - and subsequently, my card stopped working. The bank says that my card was delivered to me on the 11th April via Special Delivery, and that I or someone at my address signed for it. Lies. I think it was the postman. There’s something not right about him you know… can’t put my finger on it, but you can tell a wrong’un. He’s just… wrong. Anyway… I digress… seems to be the thing at the moment.

And then there’s the issue with the computer. You know me. I’m a geek that likes to tinker. I couldn’t just order a new larger hard drive and some more RAM, fit it and get on with. Oh no. I had to partition that drive and turn that old, but perfectly functioning computer into a dual booting powerhouse of, stuff. There’s no need to dual boot Linux on it, but it is the geek code.

Doesn’t matter if it’s pointless; it can be done!

And that’s what I did for a day and a half… and then about half a day. OK… I’m starting to see where the week went now.
And I’m also aware that people’s attention span these days are frankly shite, as all we’re really willing to read is a twitter line or a snappy/witty/whatever Facebook Status update. Look at this! Paragraphs of words. Full sentences! Shocking.

Anyway. Needless to say I achived what I set out to do. Fitted said hard drive, fitted a new DVD burner to this ancient (2005) machine, added some RAM, and now it zips along nice. It can boot into Windows XP Pro or Ununtu GNOME, and that’s good. Reason? Well… I like Ubuntu. It looks nice and performs damn better than Windows ever will - that’s what you get when your OS isn’t a mere 80Mb, as opposed to the bloated beheamouth that is the 800MB Windowz.

Sorry… are you falling asleep? I’ll shut up then.

But yes… even sitting here writing this for twenty odd mins - I know, I went and made a coffee somewhere around ‘day and a half’.

Right… I really ought to do some work. Boss is back tomorrow. I know this is a partnership, and that we’re both equal, but she runs the shop really. OK. Stuff. Here we go!

*This time of year truly is a bitch for Bank Holidays…. every week seemingly, there’s another reason for people to slck off early.