Don’t you just love spam email? Not all of it is junk you know, sometimes, there’s just some gems in there you have to share with others… like this one I got today from Mr. Williams Holmes, a good, English sounding name, you think, yes?
Read on… I was especially excited to see that I’ve won so much money in a lottery powered by the Internet.

Something about the wording though… I didn’t think that I’d send Mr. Williams Holmes all my personal details. Have I just lost a lot of money? Shame. To get the full force of this email, it’s best if you read it with a fonejacker style African voice.
———–

Winning Notification
This is to notify you that you have won £250,000.00 in
the Uk National Online Email Lottery held in UK,
e-mail addresses were picked randomly by computerised balloting
powered by the Internet. Your email address was amongst
those chosen for this period.
Ticket no: 56475600545 188
Serial No:5388/02
Winning number: 05.14.22.25.36.05 {08}
Draw (#1055)
To claim your prize, please contact
***************************************

1.Agent Name: Mr.Williams Holmes
2.Agent williams_holmes@live.com
3.Agent Tel :+447031967643
***************************************
Claims Requirements:
1.full name:
2.Home Address:
3.Age:
4.Sex:
5.Tele:
6.Occupation:
7.Country of Residence:
8.Nationality:
9.Amount Won:
***************************************
Congratulations once more from all members
and staff of this program.
Sincerely,
Dr.(Mrs.) Albano, Maria C.
Online Co-ordinator
Send your details to williams_holmes@live.com Only

Hmm. I’m in the mood for a muse.

It’s been a while since I wrote anything of great meaning on this little part of the interweb that I live in, so perhaps today, as I finished early from work, I’ll have a bit of a muse about some subjects that are floating about my head.

What’s it all about then… Alfie? Well… go ask Alice.

I’m in a strange kind of mood at the moment. Not being well isn’t helping today. I’ve got a dose of the ManFlu, which, as we all know is very serious indeed. It’s worse that death I’ve heard.

Work is odd this week. It’s half term, so there’s a few people about, but nothing like the numbers there usually are, and I’m the only technician in this week, and there’s much to be getting on with, but I find it hard to find the motivation to do anything! I know that if I don’t do the things on the job list that people will be hacked and narked, so I’ve been doing them… but it’s not a lot of fun. Got a load of stiff to do tomorrow, and it’s mainly physical stuff. Having a dose of ManFlu doesn’t bode well for doing these thing.

Still… on the flip side, at time of writing me and Sacha are still having a great time, and we’re very much in love with each other… and we’ve got through that tricky three month stage where it’s still slightly up in the air and ‘what are we doing’ kind of thing. I think we’re going to stay together for a while… see what happens!

Other stuff? How about facefuck? I’m getting so bored of it now. It’s not new or exciting. I don’t have it open all day on a page. The addiction’s has worn off. I can see it now as simple an advertising channel, and I hate advertising – although I am giving serious consideration to getting an iPod Touch this week… what with the new price drop, the basic version seems like a bit of a steal… but that’s a case for a serious breakdown of pro’s and con’s.

Where was I?

Oh yeah… I’m thinking about setting up my own ning social network. Probably a couple. One for work, where students can be cool with the kids and keep in touch, and it’s not stuck in Facebook territory, so no annoying shit… and the design can be better – talking of which, does anyone actually like that new design? I don’t think it’s dreadful, I just think that if they were going to reform the platform, they could have done a much better job of it.

So… any other business? Nope… well… probably… I’m just muttering to myself now, frankly. I think I’ll go and put the kettle on.

Or something. Laters readers.

So… I’ve been working this new job for almost a month now… what do I think?

Well; it’s all good. The people are good – apart from management, but let’s face it, management in all places of work are people to get frustrated about. There’s a saying: If you don’t have much contact with management, it’s not a bad place to work. If you don’t have much contact with students, it’s even better.

I don’t think that’s true. The kids are all right. This is further and higher education, so for the most part everyone’s there because they want to be there. There are a few cases that go againt the grain of this hard and fast rule, but I’d say that 90% of them are good people.

I’m still finding my feet a bit, and still learning people’s names. How teachers remember the names of all those damned students I don’t know. I swear I met a group of students yesterday that I’ve never seen before… they’re probably one of the rotational – first semester all the students try everything within AM&D and then they pick something they want to make the main area of study for the rest of the course.

Half term is coming up, and there’s a list of works that need to be done that’s several pages of A4… it’s going to be a busy week, but without the constant interruptions of students asking for the right cable, or that they can’t get onto facebook, or ‘I’ve shot my video project on my phone… but I can’t get it off and the deadline is today! HELP ME! It will be OK.

It’s all good stuff… I’m loving it. The smell of the Hypam and the PQ, the taste of the biscuits…

And it sure beats the living crap of standing in the Gulags of the till banks asking ‘do you want the receipt in the bag?’.

Oh, and I’m in love with Sacha.
Can it get any better?

So this is The Desk… actually, it’s my desk. The desk at which I do some of my new job… and this, frankly, is all a little too real. I’ve got a desk. A fricking desk! OK… so this isn’t perhaps, the most exciting thing to happen to me ever (there’s other things in my life that have moved me or excited me more than plywood and grey plastic veneer), but for someone that’s never had one before, this is something of a milestone. It says: responsibility; and what I lot I have now.

OK… some basics. This is the Mac Suite Office, and as I’m part of the AV technician team, this is where my phone (yeah… my own phone, with an extension) lives. When I’m not here doing geek shit, I’ll be down in the main photo lab room, doing photographic related things… or in the all new all singing all dancing £20,000 photo editing suite that I oversee… you know, when I’m not off in the lavs having a wank.

So very tired. I’ve been kept awake by a girl who wants to keep having sex with me…
What’s a boy to do eh?

La la la…

Why does someone who’s googling for ‘horses fucking girls’ get a link to my blog?

I am pretty damn sure that among all the other perversions and various talk of smut that has gone on within these electronic pages, I have never written about horses fucking girls.

There are limits, even in my own perversions…

It’s raining.

Two people sit under the awning, kissing, listening to David Bowie sing Absolute Beginners….

Tragic youth.

Wonderful.

I am excited about this new adventure.

OK then professors of psychology and madness, answer me this: all dreams have some kind of meaning… so where does this come from, what does it mean?

Last night I had a dream that there was a fairground that could only open during the day, because at night, the fairground was attacked by giant mutant squirrels that were attracted to the smell of roasting peanuts and candyfloss, so the fairground had to be locked up and have an electric fence. Cut to the hero (me) in a long duster coat, a Remington pump action shotgun loaded with walnut shells and rock-salt, and the task of getting rid of the giant mutant squirrels.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever walked round a fairground when it’s closed up. I have, and it’s strange… the one in my dream was even stranger, because it’s totally deserted, but all the stalls are open and all the lights on… that strange music they play – you know, twisted barrel organ music on old warped tapes – , was playing. But it’s just me Vs the giant mutant squirrels.

You couldn’t make this shit up could you?

Needless to say, because I don’t sleep very well… I woke up before any sort of resolution.

End

And yes, I did spend ten mins making that picture from bits I nicked off the internet.

Not sure about all that romance though? Maybe I am… possibly.

Your result for The Director Who Films Your Life Test…

Sofia Coppola

With few films under her belt (The Virgin Suicides, Lost In Translation, Marie Antoinette) as a writer/director, she’s already highly respected and connected — her dad, Francis, directed all The Godfather movies and Apocolypse Now. Sofia’s good at making the romantic drama that is your life with poignant sullen moments of introspection. You saw how she stylishly handled Marie Antoinette’s life, no? And who didn’t have at least a lump in the throat at the end of Lost In Translation? She’s already won one Academy Award for her writing, now she’ll be the first woman to receive one for directing — YOUR FILM!

Take The Director Who Films Your Life Test at HelloQuizzy

So this is what I want to know.

Even the people I know who have been single for years…. the one’s that have no reason to, but are, all of a sudden are getting partners. I keep seeing x is listed as being ‘in a relationship’ on facefuck… even the people I know who are…. how can I put this delicately… not the most social, or not the most, er attractive, have suddenly got themselves into a tryst of some kind.

WTF?