Ah, you may well ask.
P.A.W is the socially acceptable acronym of Pretentious Art Wank. It is a society, with myself at the helm, whose sole aim is to weed out the truly worthwhile works of art, music, photography, architecture, writing… while leaving the pretentious crap that passes for the above standing in puddles of their own arse gravey – which is exactly where they should be.
I am a soldier, fighting the War On P.A.W, which has the rather unfortunate, and socially unacceptable acronym, W.O.P. Sorry to any Italian readers…
For example, to start off with, something easily recognisable to all humans: Pop music. P.A.W berate people such as Coldplay for being not only far too successful for what they’re worth, but also for producing the pseudo-emotional, over-rated claptrap that seeks to fill the nation with woe and make the fans of such ‘music’ weep their feet because they are so obviously burdening under the tremendous weight of their own creative genius. To this I say bollocks.
Radiohead, on the other hand, do all of this, but actually produce music worth listening to, hence P.A.W cannot get involved.
Another example would be Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code. Well done Mr. Brown, you have written a book that has sold lots of copies and made you a fortune. This is not the reason P.A.W is getting on your case. P.A.W is also heavily influenced by the amount of licenced products that are attached to books or films.
Got a Garfield stuck on the the back window of your car? Fine… fluffy toys and cartoons are made to go together, however, when I walk into my local bookshop and see Da Vinci board games, books to help you crack the code, books on the Real Da Vinci Code (and all it’s kin) audio books, T-shirts… you all fall under P.A.W’s cover all term – Mug.
It is also true that you can buy a Da Vinci Code Mug.
If you buy one, you truly are one.
We salute you sir!
P.A.W. is indeed a worthwhile venture and a requirement for the world overall.
By: Cotts on 2 June, 2006
at 1:46 pm
Just fighting for the cause. Happy to help.
By: picturesnap on 2 June, 2006
at 3:45 pm
An additional DaVinci tie-in is Norton’s Security Suite. The idea that people are learning to to word out secret historical codes and therefore will determine how to break through your computer’s security system can only lead to increased fear of “those wot do that book larnin’”.
The mind reels at the prospect.
Thank you P.A.W. and HLoF for ensuring this never takes place and those of us who are too smart for our own good are free to get ourselves into endless difficulties.
We might need a place to report sightings, possible. Or donate to the cause?
By: I.A.M. on 2 June, 2006
at 5:36 pm
I’ll get round to setting something up in the very near future…
WATCH THIS SPACE.
No, really, watch it, do not navigate way from this page, do not close the browser. If the cat needs feeding, let it fend for itself, they’re clever animals… I’ll be back.
By: picturesnap on 2 June, 2006
at 5:53 pm
I wait….
and wait…
and wait…
oh dear, time to change my pants now…
well, first I’ll wait as I was instruted to do…
By: I.A.M. on 2 June, 2006
at 6:10 pm
You might want to get an assistant in on this one. I’m off for the weekend tomorrow, and I doubt there will be any exciting P.A.W related gubbins happening tonight… perhaps I should retract that last statement.
Come back next week. Something might have happened.
By: picturesnap on 2 June, 2006
at 7:01 pm
I look forward with great – and wildly intoxicted – anticipation…
By: I.A.M. on 4 June, 2006
at 10:30 am
Nothing seems to have happened yet. Poor old I.A.M. would surely have passed out in his soiled underpants by now if you hadn’t sent the retraction!
By: Cotts on 5 June, 2006
at 10:48 am
Yeah… I’ve decided that P.A.W should have its very own website, so that’s something I am going to attend to in the near future. For the time being, check in here for P.A.W related news and events.
Sorry IAM, perhaps you’d like to have a shower… I received an email from your better half complaining about the smell emanating from the area around the computer.
By: picturesnap on 6 June, 2006
at 7:31 pm
Yeah, yeah. Never put off today what you can put off tomorrow syndrome?
By: Cotts on 7 June, 2006
at 1:42 pm
Why do today what you can easily not do at all? Yeah, that one… like painting the spare bedroom, cutting the grass, planting those new flowers that are dying of dehydration… all those things. That and building websites… got to be done, but in the vague hope that someone will offer to do it for you… not what you know, but who.
By: picturesnap on 7 June, 2006
at 1:47 pm
There is always the technical wizardry of I.A.M, but he does seem to have been quite quiet of late, he hasn’t even responded to the barb about security balankets.
Maybe he is busy editing another tome…….. or maybe he found kaktuz, he does seem to have been quite quiet since I mentioned it.
By: Cotts on 7 June, 2006
at 3:18 pm
Or perhaps he’s out drinking with friends, or doing a play… or some other social activity. Something other than peering at a computer.
By: picturesnap on 7 June, 2006
at 4:37 pm
No, no… just staring at a computer.
waiting…
waiting…
waiting for someone to bring me clean undies…
And editing a tome, but mostly waiting for clean undies.
By: I.A.M. on 7 June, 2006
at 4:42 pm
And I still await the arrival of someone with laundry.
It’s been ten days now…
By: I.A.M. on 18 June, 2006
at 12:59 am
I think you ought to get some of your soiled vestments together and head for the laundrette…
By: picturesnap on 18 June, 2006
at 5:05 pm
Still no PAW site then.
Ian’s pants must be degrading from all the filth by now.
I.A.M., I think you should heed the Lord of Rutting’s advise and quickly get yourself off to a washing machine/laundrette and sort yourself out. Obviously if you are going outside, a shower would probably be in order first, it might even soften the material enough to get your pants off without skin loss. Always a bonus.
By: Cotts on 3 July, 2006
at 10:18 am